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01/22/2019 - Fifth journal added

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019 01MOON 22 - Day of the update​

Alt text: Scan of typed journal page. Handwritten signature reading 'Clancy' at bottom.

File name: 17-35.4527.jpg

Additional Info:

  • This journal was added to the website one day before the release of the "Chlorine" music video (January 23rd, 2019).
  • The file name (17-35.4527) references the scientific properties of the element Chlorine (Cl), which possesses an atomic number of 17 and an atomic mass of 35.4527.
  • The journal file was updated twice to correct its grammar (that -> than, happened -> happen). The changes can be arranged to spell NED, the name of the character in the "Chlorine" music video.
  • Underneath the image, there is a “<”. This is presumably part of the Ned emoticon Tyler shared on the same day of this update: <{•.•}>.
  • Some of the letters in the journal are doubled - two of the same letter on top of each other - and together spell "sodeepnedbayou.” This references the “We are banditos” audio, as a way to phonetically recreate the sound forward in order to achieve the phrase backwards, but written out with actual words. "Ned's Bayou" would also later become the name of a store themed around Ned.
  • Unlike the previous journals, the MOON date of this journal appears twice - both as text on the page itself, above the image, as well as in the journal image itself.

Transcription of the journal:

I can't face this page for long enough to write what I'm truly feeling. I am only wrought with more questions: Questions about what I assumed to be true, questions about what my own path is, and the question that has plagued me every night that I lie here, back in city: Did I give up?

The force I saw between him and his bishop seemed tense to me, and frightening. But the memory of that exchange has had time to fester and replay in my mind long enough that I'm questioning if I even remembered it correctly. I assumed the bishop was forcefully retrieving his subject, but I now wonder if the bishop was actually trying to save him, and he refused.

I stayed out there for five days after I watched it happen. I haven't seen him since. Maybe he got away, and was still out in Trench with me. Maybe the bishop chased him down, and brought him home.

Home?

Did I just call this place 'home?'

After all of the endless beauty that I saw out there, am I now convincing myself that I'm actually better off within these confines?

I admit, It was more difficult that I expected. Nothing could have prepared me for how much the 'unknown' can consume me. Vast landscapes and endless possibilities, yet coupled with endless danger. I became anxious. I became tired. I became hungry. every step I took became harder than the last, jumping from jagged rocky step to step, or pulling myself through thick forest - it all became debilitating, and I was sure that I couldn't go on.

Keons approached as the sun rose one morning. I wasn't scared. I was relieved. After all that he had taught me, his presence was the most comforting moment that I had in days, and I couldn't help but be happy to see him. In true Keons fashion, he wrapped his arms around me, then put his hands under my face, looked me in the eyes, and said 'Clancy, child, let's go home.'

I've been here for a few weeks now, and while the routines of this world are comforting, and certainly easier than life out there, my mind keeps bouncing between the two places.

Which one is home? Are the bishops protecting me, and the torches upon the hilltops dangerous? Or is it the other way around? My dreams pull me from world to world, and I feel lost in between all of it.

There is still so much I do not understand.