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07/08/2018 - First handwritten note added

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018 07MOON 08 - Day of the update​

Alt text: photo of a handwritten note on a torn page. Note is written in cursive and signed by clancy at the bottom.

File name: _note.gif

Additional Info:

  • Clancy’s first manuscript is written on the back of an inverted photo, available in this current update.
  • Unlike the other Clancy journals written back in Dema (which were all in .jpg format), this note and the following one from the next update are in .gif format.

Transcription of the note:

I’ve made it out. I feel weightless. I know that place had always held me down, but for the first time, I can feel the beauty that I had hoped for. It’s been three nights now, and my breathing has changed... it’s slower, and more full. It’s like the air out here is actually worth taking in.

I can see it back in the distance, and I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t constantly on my mind. I wish I could turn that fear off, but maybe the further I go, the less that fear will affect me. I feel betrayed by what I assumed was home.- if I ever end up back there, I won’t be able to look at it the same way.

They are asleep. They’re so sure that they know the truth, and carry on throughout their day with the same meaningless tasks. They’ve forgotten to look up, and to look outward, to understand that this isn’t about ‘in there’.

This is about ‘out here.’

This new world surrounds me. I need to think the walls back home were massive – these green cliffs engulf me, and place me right in the middle_ Trench is quite precarious at times, and its easy to grow weary. But it’s real, and it’s true, and I’d much rather endure reality than to mindlessly be obedient to a life that someone else created for me., I’ve obsessed about this world for so long, that it feels more like home than anything I’ve experienced. Somehow, in this vast openness, I feel more protected than ever.

The landscape feels endless, and I’ve found myself walking for hours without any true evidence of getting further down. But I’ve seen plants and colors out here that I’m not sure I’ve witness before. There’s a beauty in the strangest places, and the curiosity of what’s next continues to motivate me.

I wonder who else is out here. If what I assumed inside is true, there’s got to be more like me. Sometimes I’ll feel a presence, or think I see something in my periphery, only to look up and see nothing. It’s just another thing that I’m afraid of that also excites me. It all just confirms all of the things that I hoped to be true for all of this time.

I am out here and I am very alive. I’m sometimes scared, but always discovering something new, and I will not stop. Cover me!

018 07MOON 08​

Alt text: Inverted picture of a torn piece of paper with a halftone image on it lying on a stone like background. Halftone image shows a Tyler lying in a shallow stream next to rocks. The way he is lying makes him appear to be almost dead. Because of the angle, only the lower half of his body is visible and not his face. A cliff can be seen in the background. Tyler is wearing black pants and a lighter colored shirt with black boots. This is the same setting and outfit as the Jumpsuit music video.

File name: 2_1_2.gif

Additional Info:

  • The file name “2_1_2” hints at a future change in the band’s logo: |-/ → ||-//
  • The picture shows an inverted photo of a body laying on the ground in Trench, which is later revealed to be Tyler in the “Jumpsuit” music video.
  • The first handwritten Clancy note is written on the back of this image.

Alt text: Picture above inverted to look normal and on a white background.